


this house says my name like an elegy

by lesbianbettycooper



Category: Dimension 20 (Web Series), Dimension 20: A Crown of Candy
Genre: Angst, Canon-Typical Violence, Character Study, Dreams and Nightmares, F/F, F/M, Implied/Referenced Character Death, POV Female Character
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-11
Updated: 2020-05-11
Packaged: 2021-03-02 20:34:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 865
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24132919
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lesbianbettycooper/pseuds/lesbianbettycooper
Summary: Cara doesn’t sleep easy. So she distracts herself with work. Writing letters and speaking to Captains and Lords and Chancellors alike. She avoids thoughts that are too heavy and she makes excuses in her mind for why she avoids them.When she takes meetings, Sir Amanda watches concernedly from her post by the door and Cara ignores her gaze easily. The Chancellor mentions the bags under her eyes - because, of course, he does - and she simply smiles at him.Even the King stops her once, after court, out of sight of everyone.or; another caramelinda character study bc she’s genuinely my favourite coc character
Relationships: Amethar Rocks/Caramelinda Rocks, Caramelinda Rocks/Amanda Maillard, Caramelinda Rocks/Sapphria Rocks
Comments: 2
Kudos: 31





	this house says my name like an elegy

**Author's Note:**

> title from the crane wives’ curses!
> 
> things to know before reading: cara is a caramel apple, fuji is her twin brother, i have brainrot, cara is candy cersei <3

***

Cara doesn’t sleep easy. So she distracts herself with work. Writing letters and speaking to Captains and Lords and Chancellors alike. She avoids thoughts that are too heavy and she makes excuses in her mind for why she avoids them. 

When she takes meetings, Sir Amanda watches concernedly from her post by the door and Cara ignores her gaze easily. The Chancellor mentions the bags under her eyes - because, of course, he does - and she simply smiles at him. 

Even the King stops her once, after court, out of sight of everyone. He lays a cool hand on her shoulder and tries to meet her gaze.

“How are you sleeping, my queen?” he asks, gentle and guilty.

_What does he have to be guilty about?_ she wonders. Another cruel, sleepless part of her snaps, _being alive._

“Just fine, your grace,” she lies, his hand feels like a boulder. “I’ve got work to attend to; be safe, husband.”

Cara feels his eyes on her until she rounds a corner. And then she imagines them once again as she sits at her desk and works on her lists.

She imagines this is what an insane person does before they realise they’re insane or, at least, before _someone else_ realises they’re insane.

Caramelinda is not a moron, she sleeps. She knows that she needs to sleep _more_. But it’s easier to get to the point where she’s so tired that she doesn’t have to dream. Where nightmares are not an option.

It hardly ever works, no matter how hard she tries.

*

There’s a dream that Caramelinda has often. Of a wheat field in Ceresia, the soft sounds of the distant Butter Lake, a cool gentle breeze that brings with it the smell of sugar. 

In it, she’s young again - caramel not dried so tightly, grief not weighing so heavily - and she’s lying on the ground as the stalks sway ever so slightly. In it, Sapphria is lying beside her, her cool hand brushing back Cara’s hair from her face. In it, they kiss and are to be married and rule Candia together. In it, Cara allows love to blossom in her heart.

Usually that’s where the dream turns and she either wakes up or gets pulled into something darker. She thrashes against the switch and tries desperately to get back but it’s useless.

Sometimes, Cara closes her eyes and Sapphria’s hand is too light and when she opens them again, a sugar rotted skeleton stares back at her - pockmarked and gruesome, light blue in colour. Sometimes, the field around them dies all at once and the sky goes dark and the sun blinks back at them except it’s not a sun anymore; it’s an eye, and the eye looks _hungry._ Sometimes, the war finds its way into the field and Cara hears her husband’s voice shouting and feels blood soak the back of her dress as the field is soaked in blood.

Other times, it’s her knight above her - Sir Amanda and her soft smile and her softer lips. She touches the locket at Cara’s neck - that Cara allows herself to wear in her mind - and touches the picture inside of it very carefully.

“I’m sorry you lost her,” Amanda says, her broad shoulders hunched and sad - she tries too hard to make herself small around Cara, she fears terribly what her Queen thinks of her. “I’m sorry you got stuck with him.”

And that is where this dream ends too. Because her knight’s handsome head falls in her lap and her husband stands above her. His greatsword dripping with her lover’s blood. His face twisted up in rage. Cara can never find it in herself to scream; she can only brush loose curls from Amanda’s peaceful face.

The most rare is when Sapphria disappears and the wheat fades away and the quiet rushing of the Butter Lake becomes the crashing waves of the Pulp Bay. When the grass becomes a vibrant green and Cara smells almost forgotten sweetness on the air that she hasn’t smelt since before she was Caremelinda.

“When will you return, sister?” Fuji asks, he looks young like the last time she saw him. Seventeen and foolhardy and proud.

“When will _you?_ ” she asks in return, achingly aware of his bright red skin, achingly aware of _hers._

He smiles how he used to when he was young; his dress, deep emerald, sways in the breeze. He takes a step backwards towards the cliff’s edge, “never.” 

Cara - _that’s not your name,_ a voice snaps in her head - steps with him, towards him. Her pants are soft, her doublet is beautiful, intricately embroidered.

“Never,” she echoes.

Their father’s voice booms out from somewhere. Perhaps the bottom of the cliff, perhaps the cherrywoods behind them, perhaps beneath the sea, perhaps there’s no voice at all. She can’t understand it all the same.

Fuji smiles again, cruel this time - _mean_. He says nothing. Cara realises that it’s her own smile.

*

She always wakes with a pain in her chest, uncomfortable and _sad._ She wants to wage war again if only for others to know the hurt that she feels.

Oftentimes, it’s just easier for Cara to stay awake.

***

**Author's Note:**

> the way that i am fully obsessed w this npc who has literally been in one episode and has hardly been talked about since. i love her so so much and i literally couldn’t stop thinking about “everything that calorum took from her”.......... i still think she’s candy cersei i just think she’s EXTRA tragic now. also i think that amethar and cara never calling each other by their first names is something that can be SO a personal :relieved:
> 
> kudos and comments make my day! and u can find me on tumblr @ jawboneoshaugnessy and twitter @ aelwynabernant


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